**warning - post contains explicit content**
Not sure why I wrote that to be honest. I've never warned before when I've been explicit and I've never been anything but completely honest on here but hey ho! Consider yourselves warned ;)
Well. The holiday was AMAZING. It took us a few days, and a change of rooms, to settle in but it really was the honeymoon we should have had. Don't get me wrong, the honeymoon we actually had seven years ago was decent enough. His parents had kindly given us money for it which would either have covered a luxury break short haul or a cheap break long haul and we went for the latter. Plus hubby got salmonella whilst we were there so, you know, not quite the honeymoon of our dreams. But this. THIS. Wow.
The hotel is stunning. It's more of a resort really (you can read all about it here when I posted about our trip there last year) and the weather was glorious. I was expecting some rain as it is the season for it over there really, last year we had a whole day and two afternoons washed out, but apart from a couple of hours one afternoon that was it this year. Hot hot hot the rest of the time. And the weather wasn't the only thing that was hot! Having mentioned before when we were having our issues that hubby doesn't have any particular, erm, 'thing' when it comes to bedroom activities (hence having nothing in my arsenal when we were attempting to fix the problem) it turns out that there are actually a couple of things that do work for us! Ready?!
Now, the hotel had two porn channels. Whilst I won't deny I have watched porn in the past, whenever we've watched it together it has mainly been to laugh about how unrealistic the whole thing is. I've also never been one for the way women are often portrayed, it's got better but a lot of the time it seems to be women being subservient to men which is so not my thing nor my general attitude to life. Plus it's just inherently naff! So it's not really ever done anything for me. One of the porn channels was all that kinda stuff we've always just laughed at but the other channel was the Playboy channel and they had a programme about couples who are swingers. Now, that does not float my boat let me just say that loud and clear! But the, shall we say, 'activities' the programme showed all the couples doing were much more natural and much more akin to what I'd imagine most of the population gets up to. And yes, that did work for us!!
The second thing that worked was some new threads I got myself. I'm not even entirely sure how I found out about this company to be honest but I don't care! Rather than try to explain (!) what these threads are I shall tell you the company's name instead - Bluebella. They sell classy but exciting underwear, and I shall leave it there. But again, it did the trick!! So, we really did have the most magical time once we'd got over the jet lag and switched to a better room. Not just because the resort was amazing and the weather gorgeous but because we enjoyed ourselves and each other too. Plus I ate my body-weight in guacamole, every box ticked.
Because of the stress of moving house my previous period had arrived a full week early which meant that we were only just in the window whilst we were away, if it had been on time it would have been a different story but hey - these things are never simple are they?! I was so convinced we'd managed to do it and it would be a wonderful story to tell (not to mention make coming clean to family in the new year more palatable) but no, period arrived bang on time the week after we got back. So I went out and bought a lot of very unhealthy food. Oops. How could I have forgotten how heart-wrenching this rollercoaster is?! I don't think I forgot to be fair, I think I'd blocked it out and it all just came flooding back. I was so sure my period wouldn't start, I hadn't had many of my usual pre-menstrual symptoms (but then again I had also had horrendous jet leg so, you know, who knows) and I'd just convinced myself it had happened. But, to be honest, why on earth should I have expected it to happen so easily after everything that has gone before it!! Ha :D It never was going to be that easy. Altho there we are, officially trying again. So who knows.
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