Wednesday 9 August 2017

One Weekend in June

Well hello there. Welcome back. Yes yes it's been a while, but life has a habit of getting in the way of blogging I'm afraid. And it is one of those things that the longer you leave it, the harder it is to get back into it. Especially when you have so much to say. There is every chance, therefore, that this will turn into a two-parter. Rather that I think than bore you all with one massive essay in one go!

So, where were we?! I moved back into my flat one midweek night at the very end of May. And I genuinely thought I'd stay there for a while. It was lovely to be back there, I liked being by myself. It reminded me that, should anything happen between me and hubby, I would be absolutely fine by myself. I had very little contact with him and I felt free.

But then two events changed things slightly. Firstly, that weekend after I'd moved out was our wedding anniversary. And no matter my anger towards hubby it was something I wanted to celebrate. I'd left that night as I'd got so frustrated by him, his apparent lack of care and urgency for our situation. Turns out he just didn't know what else to do rather than he couldn't be bothered. I still left as I had got myself so wound up I needed some space. But I was fairly sure that I would only stay a few nights and that I would go back. Especially as it was our wedding anniversary and I had made it painfully clear how I felt, and he had understood.

The second event was more serious. On the Saturday evening I'd just got back to my flat and I got a text from hubby to say that he was fine but would be home late. To which I thought 'so?!', it wasn't as if he was coming back to the place I was staying so I just ignored it. Then, a little bit later, he phoned and I missed the call as I was in a different room to my phone. He called again straight away and this time I answered it, he wanted to know where I was. Wanted to make sure I hadn't spontaneously decided to come into central London as I am wont to do. Something in his voice made me not like the conversation, the noise in the background didn't sound right either. I told him I was fine, that I was at the flat, I hadn't gone anywhere. He said things were kicking off, he had to go and that I should check the news soon.

Hubby is a Metropolitan Police officer. His borough is Southwark. London Bridge is in the London Borough of Southwark. I managed to stream a news channel on my phone and watched in horror knowing hubby was there and dealing with the aftermath. I couldn't sleep. It was about 2am when I eventually dozed off but I kept waking up and checking my phone. He texted at 4am to say he'd got home. I slept soundly after that and woke up mid-morning.

The Sunday was our wedding anniversary. He came over to the flat. We had champagne, we had a bath together. We had sex. We talked. We went home together.