It's not all bad :)

After my rubbish weekend of three (three!) pregnancy announcements I decided to try and take something positive from it. Unbeknownst to me it was actually National Infertility Awareness Week (in the UK at least) last week and can you guess how much coverage there had been of that in the media? Yep, nothing. Not a sausage.

So. I wrote a post on my FB feed. I thought if I link it to NIAW then maybe people will think I'm just showing support for that rather than 'outing' myself. But at the same time part of me wondered how many others were struggling in private and for them to just have an inkling that there weren't alone made me think it was worth doing.

This is what I posted:

I must admit I thought long and hard about posting it. I wrote it and re-wrote it and hovered over the 'post' button for a good few minutes going round and round in circles in my head. As I've already mentioned (here) we decided a while ago that moving forward, whilst we won't exactly shout it from the rooftops, we would stop lying if anyone ever asked us anything. So, I posted it.....

I hadn't even realised it was the awareness week until the Sunday of that week (i.e. the last day of NIAW) and I think that's what gave me the last push to post it - if I hadn't done it on that day then it didn't really fit with that. And people could then make their own conclusions!

I was still nervous though and did think I'd give it half an hour or so and then delete it if the comments were nasty, or if there were no comments/likes at all. It could disappear into the ether as if it had never existed. But I was so touched and genuinely surprised by the response it garnered out in the 'open air' (as it were!). Not only did I have comments on my post but I also had some direct messages from friends that, of course completely unknown to me, had been fighting the IF battle alone. So, now, I'm very very glad I did post that. Infertility seems to be such a private thing, almost taboo to talk about openly which is astounding when you look at the stats - it affects so many who must just suffer in silence. Which is horrible.

I may not have completely 'outed' myself but it was enough of a hint for those that recognise the signs to get in touch. And for that I am incredibly grateful, to know just one person knows they're no longer alone makes it worth posting. Even for the couple of negative comments I got I still don't care as the good has so completely outweighed the bad.

And whilst that may be out in the open there are still only a very select few who know about this blog and related twitter account, so I can still vent true feelings within the safety net of anonymity! Almost the best of both worlds. And I think that's how I'd like it to stay. As much as I know it may sound hypocritical after what I've just said about it being a taboo subject, but nevertheless I do think it's one thing alluding to it - it's another entirely to go into the level of detail I do here. Unless you're on this side of the fence you will never ever truly understand what it feels like to be an infertile. So, for now, let's just keep the details between us eh? :)