The Art of Over-Sharing

I'm not entirely sure where to start this.... What has prompted me writing this is the 'joy' of social media. Note the inverted commas. Most of the time I am incredibly grateful for social media, really I am. I can keep touch with my friends across the world, keep in touch with family when anyone is not in the same country as me (or if I'm in a different country for that matter!) and of course - I would never ever ever have coped with the past 2 years without this blog and the wonderful ladies of Twitter.

However.

There are times when I despise social media and all it stands for. It gives voice to those that don't need it, an audience to those that crave attention and platform to those that have nothing to say.

Cryptic posts such as 'I don't know how much longer I can do with this' or 'feeling really sad' or 'unwell again' or 'totally fed up'. There are thousands more examples out there. Posts that don't actually give any information about the person's situation and just invite a long list of 'oh hun, I'm here if you need me' or 'you're so lovely, don't let anything get you down!' or 'aaaah, big hugs' replies really get on my wick. What on earth are you trying to achieve?! If your life is really that bad, would you really - honestly - post about it on social media???! Or do you desperately want the attention and verification that you have friends? Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Maybe I just have a bit of dignity and don't want to splash my life all over the internet*.

Don't get me wrong, there are posts about the loss of a loved one when the person in question is clearly grieving and this is part of that grief. That, in my head at least, is a completely different situation. But how would all my friends/followers feel if I posted some of the following statements on FB or my (other) Twitter? All of which I have felt, most of which I have posted here instead, none of which I have actually made public:

• Why why why can't I get pregnant?
• Seem to be feeling more and more tearful. I was in such a good mood when I got home from work, and then that all changed.
• I swear if I get asked one more time if we want kids, and then get told 'well, you'd better get a move on as you're not getting any younger!' - I will hit that person with a wet fish
• Just relax eh?! Yes yes, that'll cure the infertility that a doctor can do nothing about
• At the hospital again. Oooh goodie, another chance to have my knickers round my ankles at a moment's notice
• Well, today was a pretty bad day. No idea why, but I just seemed more sensitive to things. Wherever I looked I saw babies, small people and pregnant ladies
• Sick of hearing "I know exactly how you feel" - No, no you absolutely do not. Go away.
• Oh for heaven's sake people, if I'm not drinking on a night out it does not automatically mean I'm pregnant
• Finally decided not to lie any more, it has taken its toll on both of us to keep pretending all is ok. People keep asking and we kept rebuffing them. From now on, if anyone asks, we'll be honest.
• Yay! More blood tests!
• Must not give up, must not give up, must not give up
• Argued with hubby this evening. Over absolutely nothing. So, after I'd been out, I cried all the way home.
• More friends that are pregnant!!! Gah!!!
• STOP moaning about your children - at least you have them. This includes those of you whinging about lack of sleep or lack of money.
• No I am not 'lucky' that I am able to sleep past 5am on a weekend
• No idea why, but feeling incredibly tearful today. I feel low, with no particular reason, other than things just don't seem to be going to plan

Well, that was quite cathartic :)


This also reminds me of something else I've seen online, can't for the life of me remember where admittedly ,but essentially a mother posts the following status on Facebook:

"OMG, my daughter has just drunk some bleach - what do I do?"

To which the very first comment underneath it was "Quick - post about it on Facebook!"

Doesn't that just say it all?!








* yes yes I am well aware of the irony, as that's technically what I'm doing here.... But it is anonymously and to a selective audience. It is not to all and sundry. It's certainly not fishing for responses.

The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Holy cow. I actually won something! Well, sort of. But still, I get to write about it and put the picture below and that's good enough for me :) especially bearing in mind the topic involved.

                

The wonderful and inspiring Kim over at one of my absolute favourite IF blogs (http://saltinthewomb.blogspot.co.uk/) has nominated me (me!) for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award.

The award honours the unique voices of women bloggers around the world - something that I believe absolutely should be recognised. Women have a different view on the world, in my opinion anyway, due to the very different life we lead to men. I know I'm going to tie myself up in knots here, but that's not to say men have an easy time of it either - just that due to our internal reproductive-based biology we've had to deal with stuff from a young age (that gets worse as you get older!) that they just have no idea at all about.

I'll end that one there..... ;)

Back to my award!! As people who read my blog regularly are aware, I have spoken in the past about my admiration for Kim and the way she writes (here) and so am thrilled she's the one who's nominated me. Blogging for me is an escape route, until very recently I could count on one hand those that knew what we were actually going through. As much as that number has expanded now it's only increased by 9 (a blog on that to follow.....) so still not exactly a lot of people. Blogging therefore is my escape, my release. The only place in my life I can be completely and utterly open and honest about how I'm feeling and what we're going through. I genuinely don't know how I would have made it through the past two years or so without it and the lovely Twitter ladies who I also surround myself with. I have lost count of the number of times I have retreated to Twitter when something going on in the 'real world' is just too much for me to handle.

I have also found that this award has really opened my eyes to some of the other blogs out there. I thought I kept my eye on a fair few, but by nominating others everyone who's blogged on this subject that I've seen has included blogs I didn't know existed. Such a good way to spread the net even wider! So I urge you, dear readers, to follow the chain backwards as well as forwards.

Anyhoos, thank you so much to Kim for the award. From someone I admire so much it means a lot! And this is where we go from here:

• Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site DONE!
• Put the award logo on your blog DONE!
• Answer the ten questions the nominator has set you DONE! (thanks Kim..... :D )
• Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer DONE! (holy crap, that bit was hard)
• Nominate ten people Erm, ten? Really?! Might not make that one.....

And here are the ten questions I was set, with my answers:

1. Who is your blog idol?

Well, clearly I would say Kim but she nominated me.... So I'm going to say a dear friend of mine from school, one of the group I opened up to about our situation over Christmas. At 38 weeks gone in her second pregnancy they found out that her baby had been starved of oxygen from 20 weeks. What followed is beautifully and touchingly written about here. I urge you all to read it. Which is a bit of a risk, as it's a crack to my own anonymity! But worth it I think to share her blog.

2. What song do you sing loudest in the shower?

Erm, not sure I generally sing in the shower to be honest. The car yes, the shower not so much. Having said that, I did find myself singing John Legend's "All of Me" in the shower recently when it came on the radio. So does that count?!

3. What's your favorite curse word to yell at your ovaries?

Aaaaah, now this is a good one! I am a big fan of the word 'bugger' especially when combined with the word 'bollocks'. Think of Hugh Grant a la Four Weddings! A string of "buggery buggery bollocky f*ck" can do wonders :)

4. You get to meet one of your favorite fictional characters. Who is it?

Blimey. This is a tough one. I actually answered all the others and then came back to this one. I'm really not sure. Ooh ooh ooh!!! Minions!!!! I WANT a Minion!!!!!

5. What do you think about when you need to smile?

Nephews (now 3 and six months, gorgeous), hubby. Simple really. Or I'll just go online and look at houses or sunshine holidays and dream!

6. If you could switch careers and be awesome at something other than what you currently do, what would it be?

Well, having changed jobs recently I'm obviously awesome at what I currently do. But when I was younger I wanted to be a professional dancer, not a ballerina, but in the West End/Broadway or pop music tours. That sort of thing. I also wanted to be a stage manager/lighting designer in the theatre at one point too. And a radio producer. Who knows, I may well turn to one of those in the future! My recent job swap has proved to me that it's never too late. Apart from being a professional dancer, sadly that ship might actually have sailed.

7. What's your go-to "I didn't have time to do my hair" style?

Ha! Easy. Twisted somehow (usually a bun but not always) and held in place with a small claw clip. Gets it all out the way really quickly and easily. Generally stays put too.

8. Taylor Swift or Katy Perry? YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. If you want to.

Another easy one - Katy Perry. No contest.

9. Would you rather legally change your last name to Hitler or never eat chocolate again?

Probably never eat chocolate. Well, I don't think I actually eat that much of it. If the question had been cheese however....

10. On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love Benedict Cumberbatch? (If it's below 5, I don't know if we can be friends.)

Lordy lordy. 11. At least. If not more.


Right. That was harder than it should have been! So I now nominate:

Scarlett Waffle
My Perfect Breakdown
Dellaquella
Miss to Mrs to Mom
A little more2life
Failing Baby Maker
A Calm Persistence

Ok, so that's not ten. But seven is the new ten, isn't it....?! Anyway, you're up! Questions:

1. What's your favourite thing about blogging?
2. What was the last thing you saw at the theatre and what did you think of it?
3. What's left to do on your bucket list? Have you actually crossed anything off it yet?
4. Who is your embarrassing/weird celebrity crush?
5. Summer or Winter?
6. Beach/pool holiday doing nothing or running, jumping climbing trees somewhere completely random?
7. Did you go to university? If so, what did you study and do you think that your degree has helped you in later life?
8. How would you spend your ideal day, with no budget or time restrictions? (i.e. being able to jump countries or continents in an instant)
9. What would you call your autobiography?
10. Do you cook/bake from scratch? If so, do you have a signature dish?

Go!