A tearful Friday

No idea why, but feeling incredibly tearful today. I feel low, with no particular reason, other than things just don't seem to be going to plan. I'm not fulfilled at work at the moment either, which I imagine isn't helping, and I want to apply for other roles. Outside the company ideally, I've been with the same firm for about seven years now in various different roles and I can't help thinking it's time for a change. There's only one issue - the maternity package that my company offers is absurdly good. I'd be daft to walk away from that and into a new job where, if I'm lucky, I'd just get statutory.

Trouble is, obviously, I have no idea if/when I'll get pregnant.... And hubby's argument is that I should be happy, so sod the maternity package and find another job. I'm lucky in that the segment I work in does have vacancies, although there's obviously no guarantee I'd be successful in getting one of them. I do see his point, I really do, and I've seen a couple of jobs that I'm tempted to apply for anyway just for the hell of it. Whether that's fair on those employers advertising those positions is of course a whole different argument altogether! The last thing I want I guess is to get a new job, find out I'm pregnant, and then regret that new job because we'd then have to struggle with the package I was on - hubby sadly doesn't earn much, so there's never been any point in having that kind of discussion. I would always have to go back to work, and more than likely full time, with hubby going part-time or quitting work to take over childcare. It just makes sense with the jobs we both have.

So I think that might be what's getting me down today, I've seen a couple of jobs I want to apply for. Ones that would, I think, make me happier and I'd actually enjoy. But I don't think I should apply for them. The future just seems on hold. Until I know what's happening with 'things' I don't know whether I should just get my head down and stay where I am because of the package they offer, or whether things aren't going to happen for ages. In which case sod it - I want that new job.

Ho hum. Still, it's Friday and the weekend starts in a few hours time.....

Take care folks xx